I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
