Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We left the knife in your bed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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