"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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