just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize