Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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