On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
