In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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