he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
