I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
