I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Oh god it's open bar.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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