I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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