I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
