I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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