we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
