my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
