when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wanna passion pit in your ass
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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