oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
