It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
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