Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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