hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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