i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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