Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
