Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
