wrigley field is MILF paradise
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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