your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
