oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
