Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
