I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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