Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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