It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
