Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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