You can't special order awesome
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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