i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
