the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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