Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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