theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
