There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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