I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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