We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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