Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
