ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
