I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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