I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize