Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
