You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
