I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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