i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
