I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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