i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
