Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
