My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize