This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
