how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
