Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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