fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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