they need to just BURY HIM!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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