she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
