All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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